


Bandages

by flecksofgold (cherri_cola)



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Secret Crush, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, but the crush doesn't really matter, i just wanted to write trans hop, look - Freeform, okay i lied crush does matter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21623908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherri_cola/pseuds/flecksofgold
Summary: Breathe.In and out.Just keep breathing.
Relationships: Hop/Masaru | Victor
Comments: 11
Kudos: 243





	Bandages

**Author's Note:**

> hands you trans hop hands you trans hop hands you tranS HOP HANDS YOU TRANS HOP

Tight, constricting, barely breathing, Hop can’t stop thinking about how he’s not flat enough. It’s not like people know, it’s more like whenever he looks in the mirror he can only see his chest. He can only see it as a permanent marker that he’s not really a boy – but a girl. He’s a girl, that’s what his body says and that’s what everyone around him knows.  


Even though Victor has known him for so long, there’s been no indication from him that he’s at all male. His friend simply thinks that Hop’s a tomboy and nothing more, he wishes he was as well as he looks in the mirror. Of course, Victor is probably out getting ready for today’s exhibition match against Raihan. He plans to show up, but not if he looks like this. Not if he can tell this is nothing more than a costume for what he actually is.  


It’s funny, that he doesn’t have the words to describe the displacement he feels from his body. But it’s there, it’s been stuck with him ever since he can remember. Is there even a word for it? He doesn’t know that he just knows that being called a girl makes him want to throw up at the least. His jacket is enough to hide his chest, he throws a sweater on top of his shirt for good measure as well. It may be the middle of spring, but there’s no reason that he wouldn’t wear a sweater. He already almost always wears one around Victor, so he has no clue why it would be any different today. Filled with excitement, he sweeps away any thoughts surrounding himself.  


He runs downstairs almost breaking into a sprint.  


“Young lady, what about a goodbye for your mother hm?”  


“Aren’t you coming Ma?”  


His mother laughs softly at that, absorbing the warmth that’s radiating off of Hop. Taking his hand in her own she looks into his eyes. Guilt takes over from the giddiness that had been flowing through his body for the last ten minutes at least.  


He’s lying to her about this, keeping this secret. For some reason, she hadn’t questioned it when he’d started calling himself Hop. Instead, she had embraced it and said that she was the same as a young girl.  


“Darling I’ll be watching on telly with your father, okay? We’re meeting with Victor’s family, now go on or you’ll be late! You don’t want to miss Victor’s first exhibition match, do you?”  


He shakes his head. Victor would never forgive him if he was late to the match, would he even be let in? Shaking the thought of, he runs out of his home waving goodbye to his parents. He calls a flying taxi, and as he’s waiting for plays with the wooloos around him.  


“You guys wouldn’t hate me for this, would you?”  


Wooloo just looks him in the eye, warm and kind. A wooloo’s life would be much better than this, that’s what Hop knows. It would be much better than feeling bandages cutting against his skin every day, that soft cotton coat…That’s the stuff of dreams, they also just to get roll around in a field all day so really there’s nothing better than that.  


Wooloos really live the dream.  


Ringing pierces through the air around him, and only then does he realise that there’s a flying taxi waiting behind him.  


“Oh I’m sorry mate, how long were you waiting?”  


“Not long at all, climb on in.”  


Thanks to Hop’s rotom phone he doesn’t have to worry about telling the driver where he wants to go. They’re already on their way to Hammerlocke, it looks minuscule from the skies. It never ceases to take his breath away, seeing the city sprawled out in such a unique way. Buildings a constant reminder about the centuries galar has been around for, and everything the land has seen.  


Galar is a mystical place, and Hop knows that despite everything he’d be more than happy to be born here time and time again. The pokemon below them chase the corviknight, soon losing interest as they begin to play amongst themselves in the tall grass. The gate to Hammerlocke is as alluring as it’s always been, the dragon’s mouth wide open. For the first time, Hop notices how beautiful Lake Outrage really is as it reflects the sunlight.

  
They fly over the walls, and for a split second all of Hammerlocke is in front of him before they dip down, coming back to earth. The light of the pokemon centre reflects off of Corviknight, casting a purple light on the ground. Quickly, Hop fumbles through his wallet paying the taxi driver before running off through the streets to find Hammerlocke gym. High ceilings and a narrow walkway remind Hop more than anything about how truly ancient Hammerlocke is, and he can only look at it in reverence.

  
The line through to the stadium is long, but it’s what happens when you take too long getting ready, so it’s his own fault more than anything else. The ticket booth has no line, however, so he doesn’t need to worry about that at all which is a nice change of pace. Victor will be more than happy to see him in the crowd, and that makes everything actually feel worth it. Even thinking about Victor is enough to make his chest feel slightly warm, and his cheeks go slightly red.

  
But they’re nothing more than friends, and they’ll never be anything else.

  
Hop knows that. So he doesn’t pay them any heed, he ignores the signs.

  
“How’re ya?”

  
“Yeah ‘m alright thanks kid, ya got a ticket?”

  
Hop pulls his wallet out, beginning to rifle through for his league card to use as ID before the man stops him, taking him by surprise.

  
“Nah not yet-”

  
“Hang on! You completed in the gym challenge didn’t ya? Hope right?”

  
He’d forgotten that Hope was the name his mother had given him, whilst it hadn’t necessarily been what he’d gone by, there were some people who didn’t know that he preferred Hop. Most simply thought it was some kind of nickname given to him by Victor.

  
“Victor and Raihan have special tickets for you, front and centre.”

  
Pages are flipped through, and Hop sees the ticket seller stamp something. Seconds pass before a whirring and beeping are heard, and then there’s a laminated ticket passed to him with a holographic foil and a selfie with Raihan and Victor on it.

  
“I-”

  
“Look, don’t ask about the design Raihan said that it’s that or nothing for the ‘special’ tickets, he’s really made this job a lot harder yanno?”

  
Hop is barely paying any attention to the conversation, because despite having barely been talking…Victor had thought about him.

  
_He still thinks about me…_

  
People around him whisper as he walks by the line, realising that his ticket means that not only does he get to seat right in the middle of the action, it also means he has priority.

  
Guess that’s where being best friends with the champion and being the ex-champion’s brother gets you…

  
He doesn’t bother buying himself anything like snacks, knowing him he’ll get too riled up and spill them all over the floor. An unfortunate habit that he’d gotten from watching matches with Leon at home, the two of them getting so riled up when they were kids that they’d jump up from the couch and their popcorn would spill all over the floor.

  
“Hey, Hop? Is that you?”

  
Leon’s voice carries through the air and he turns his head around to see his older brother standing around two rows behind him with Charizard next to him. Surprisingly fans aren’t swarming him which is a nice change of pace.

  
“Leon! Did you get free tickets as well?”

  
Eagerly, Leon makes his way down to where Hop is, sitting down next to him. Charizard isn’t far behind him at all. The fire at the end of Charizard’s tail is only making the air around them hotter, and Hop finds himself overheating which isn’t exactly optimal. Because he’s wearing three layers and he doesn’t want to take off the first two because then everything will be so much more visible.  


“Sure did lil sis, Raihan being the lovely rival he is decided that he had no other option than to give me a ticket to watch him get his ass kicked.”  


Laughter bubbles and emerges from Hop’s mouth, he can hear that Leon is at least slightly perturbed that he’s missing out on an opportunity to go head to head against his rival, but it’ll be a nice break for the both of them.

  
At least Hop hopes it is. After all, the only thing that he and Leon have done since the beginning of the gym challenge is to compete against each other. Now that’s not necessarily a bad thing, considering how he and Leon have always had a competitive relationship, but sometimes he misses everything being just neutral.

  
“I really didn’t expect him to win over you, Hop.”

  
Taken aback, Hop reaches his hand to the back of his head.

  
“Wha- but Victor has always been a much better trainer than me Leon, how could I not lose to him? He’s amazing…He’s just like you….

  
Unbeatable.”

  
He feels his body sag, he tries to ignore the bitterness seeping through his body. He didn’t want to lose, he’s been left behind by both Leon and Victor. Even working with Sonia has him feeling upset, down even.

  
There’s part of him that yearns to be out in the wild, catching pokemon and training up his own team to take on the champion.

  
“That’s what everyone said about me as well, lil bro.”

  
Charizard lets out a growl, almost as if he’s agreeing with his owner which doesn’t shock him at all. Considering that he has Zacian on his side now…the legendary had deemed worthy and allowed him to catch him…

  
“Yeah, it is! I’ll beat Victor one day and then I’ll become unbeatable, just like the both of you were! I’m not done yet Leon don’t you worry.”

  
As their conversation comes to an end, the crowds begin to riot. People screaming, jumping up and down, whistling even. Raihan is the first to emerge, making his way onto the pitch throwing his arms in the air and waving at his countless fans. The smile on his face something that Hop is pretty sure everyone in Galar remembers by now.

  
Quiet fills the stadium, only for a split second, before Victor walks out. He’s changed into his uniform to go against Raihan, Hop notices that for the first time since defeating Leon, Victor walks onto the pitch with assertiveness and a hunger in his eyes. There’s a determination to win, to show Galar that he’s their champion. With not only eternatus on his side but also the legendary Zamazenta.

  
Victor, for the first time, looks like a true champion.

* * *

The battle ends with Raihan’s final pokemon fainting, and Hop can only jump and scream at the top of his lungs. He’s filled with nothing but pride for his best friend, he doesn’t even notice that his breathing has gotten ragged. Nor does he realise the bandages around his chest are constricting his breathing. The battle comes to an end, and as the two of them walk to the centre of the pitch Hop can barely breathe properly. Leon doesn’t notice, which he’s thankful for.  


He’s tempted to run to the changing rooms just to get some relief but he has to hold on. He’s not allowed in there until the match is over at least, or only if Victor lets him in. He knows that Victor will, but then he has to worry about Victor finding his bandages. And that’s enough to almost deter him from even trying, but it would be better than being found out in the bathroom or passing out.  


Noise rushes through the stadium as people get up to leave, not leaving as fast as they came in.  


“Hey Leon, I’m gonna go see Victor and congratulate him, see ya soon.”  


He doesn’t even stay to hear what Leon has to say to him. He moves through the crowd as fast as he can, his vision fringed with blackness and spots slowly appearing. His breathing has almost come to a full stop and there’s sweat on his brow. But now he’s standing outside the doors to the change rooms and that’s all that matters.  


He’ll be safe in there.  


He just needs them off.  
Shaking, he knocks on the door with as much power as he can allow.  


“V-Victor? Mate, could you let me in please?”  


Seconds later, the door opens and Victor’s dressed back in his normal clothes.  


“Hop? What’s wrong?”  


He doesn’t have the strength to tell Victor, but this secret is killing him. It’s killing him that no one even knows, he doesn’t care if they’re suspecting. He doesn’t care if they already know he just needs to get them off of him. He can’t breathe at this point and his jacket is on the floor.  


He doesn’t even remember taking it off.  


Hop tries to get his shirt off, but he doesn’t get the chance to before the world goes black. He falls backwards, and he has no idea how fast Victor’s moved but he’s fallen in his lap.  


“O-Off.”  


Victor lifts his shirt off, and Hop immediately regrets it. The bandages have left red marks all over his chest, and they’re still there. Done up at the back by three clasps that have them done up so right.  


“Hop…what have you done?”  


He doesn’t even have the energy to reply. He just needs them off, he needs them off so he can breathe, without anything further Victor’s fingers find their way to the clasps and he slowly begins to unravel the bandage. Oxygen begins to flow properly within seconds, moving through his body. His head clearing slowly, eyes shut as he breathes in and out deeply. Piled next to him are two of the bandages, with the third left on his chest, for privacy sake more than anything.  


“Did you want me to leave?”  


Instinctively, Hop shakes his head. He doesn’t want to be alone right now, he wants Victor to stay with him, here. Because there’s no point in pushing him away now that he knows. He knows that Hop’s broken now, and there’s no telling how Victor will react but the best thing that Hop can do is hope. He can hope that Victor is at least understanding, he knows better than anyone that Victor is exactly that.  


Kindhearted, filled with warmth.  


He cares for others and helps them when they need. In every way, Victor is better than him. The two of them know that better than anyone else.  


“Okay, you can talk when you’re ready, Hop.”  


His eyes flutter open, looking up to see concern etched softly into Victor’s safe. Absentmindedly, Hop reaches his hand up to cup Victor’s cheek. He sits up carefully, wincing at the leftover pain in his chest.  


“I’m broken, Victor.”  


“What do you mean?”  


“I-I don’t feel like a girl…I’m not a girl.”  


“Okay, so you’re not a girl then.”

  
It’s the way Victor says it, so matter of factly. Relief, it begins to trickle slowly through his body making its way from the back of his neck like a cold breeze hitting it. Sought out for so long, relief from the pressure that’s been building up, pressing him against what feels like an invisible wall. Everything around him going on completely normally whilst he’s stuck in this middle ground he can’t even name. 

  
Tears are filling his eyes, his vision is going blurry again.. Hop’s thankful as well, the air filling his lungs is a nice change to the effects that the bandages have had. There’s part of him however that wants them back on, that wants them to hide away his secrets more than anything else. Whatever this is, it isn’t a secret anymore though.

  
“You’re a boy, and your name is Hop!”

  
Warmth fills him, moving from his cheeks to his chest to the very tips of his toes. It takes over his entire body, and he begins to sob. Crying at the top of his lungs, everything spilling out in a manner that Hop could never imagine to control. Honestly, he doesn’t know how he managed to control it for so long. Hearing those words come from the person who means the most to him...there’s nothing that could quite describe the elation that comes from it. 

  
“Huh? W-why’re you crying mate? Is it something I did? Did I say something? Oh god oh go-”

  
Hop smiles, his tears falling slowly down his cheeks. He doesn’t care that he can still feel them, he doesn’t care about how absurd he must look from where he’s sitting. He turns himself around, so he can look Victor in the eye. His friend has to know how much this means, how much he’s done in just five minutes.

  
They may be rivals to everyone else and on the cameras. But he and Victor have been friends since they were children. Never has Victor done anything as simple but gorgeous as this that’s made him think that he’s valid for being who he is.

  
“Thank you, Victor.”

  
Victor reaches forward this time, taking Hop’s hand in his own. Neither of them particularly care that they’re sitting on the floor either, and there’s nothing else in this room that could distract them from one another.

  
“What are you thanking me for?”

  
“Everything. This, being such a good friend.”

  
Friend doesn’t seem to be the right word, it certainly isn’t the word that Hop wants to use. But he can’t ruin how perfect things are right now, not when Victor has already gone through so much.

  
Hop doesn’t want to burden him or put more pressure on Victor. Hearing this has to be a shock, even if there was at least some idea that Hop was different. 

  
Holding hands with Victor is … 

  
Perfect.

  
Simple.

  
Hop can think of both a million and no words to describe how it feels.

  
His eyes move up from where their hands are laying on the cool wood, instead, he notices that Victor’s looking at him as if trying to make a decision of some kind. Inching closer and closer Hop finds his heart racing so loudly that it’s sure to give him a headache.

  
To his surprise, Victor kisses him. Softly, kindly, warmly. Hop melts, closing his eyes and letting every little thing melt away. The cold air nipping at his skin becoming nothing but a distant thought. Moments like this, he realises, are why people live. The little things, the simple things.

  
Maybe that’s what everything is.

  
He’d overcomplicated it.

  
“Huh, if you’d told me that kissing you would’ve calmed you down I would’ve done it sooner…”

  
Fingers brush against his face.

  
Victor’s right. He’s not crying anymore.

  
There are teardrops left on the wood where he’d been sitting, but otherwise, he wouldn’t know any better about what had gone on in the change rooms.

  
“It’s freezing!”

  
Hop jumps up from where he’s sitting on the bench, running to where his shirt, jacket and sweater are lying. It may just be because of the air conditioning, either way, he doesn’t want to get sick. He also really doesn’t want to stay without a shirt any longer.

  
“Glad to see you're back to normal.”

  
Hop’s glad too.

  
He’s glad to have Victor by his side, to help him through whatever this is. 


End file.
